Sharing a letter from my past self.
Back in 2015, I discovered a website called FutureMe where you can write a letter to yourself, and it’ll email it to whenever you want it to. When I was younger, I remember physically handwriting letters to myself for school or clubs or whatever, and then my teachers, directors, etc. would send them in the mail or give them to us at the end of the year. I thought this was so cool because, even though I used to journal all the time, I rarely ever read through past entries. Plus, writing a letter to myself with a known date of when I’d get to read it again, it kind of helped me set goals and a paint a picture of what I wanted my life to look like when I got it back.
So a little more than four years ago, I decided to write a letter to my future self. Just to paint a little picture of what my life looked like in 2015:
— I was 25-years-old and single for the first time in my 20s.
— I was lost, so much so that my mental health took a nose dive, and I thought about ending my life.
— I had a new friend group that was toxic.
— I was doing things for people who didn’t care about me for reasons I still don’t fully understand.
Long story short, I was so lost, and the thing that comforted me the most was writing. So on July 24, 2015, I wrote the following letter to be sent to myself just a month later:
Dear FutureMe,
Right now, you’re sitting here. Lost. You’re drowning in self-loathing. You’re single for the first time since you turned 21. You’re falling in and out of like with someone that you know won’t work long-term. You have no idea where you want to go with your life. You don’t know what to do. You’re confused. You’re upset. You go in and out of disliking yourself, and you don’t know how to change it.
But you know what? It’s okay. Everyone knows that your 20’s are the hardest years of your life, and truth be told, no one really has it all figured out. You need to remember that you are awesome. You bring so much happiness into other people’s lives, and when you’re feeling down about yourself, even if you can’t figure out how to make yourself happy directly, you can indirectly do so by making someone else happy.
Tiffany, you need to remember that you are worth so much more than what you give yourself credit for. You’re an amazing person. You really are, whether you want to believe it or not. You have so much potential, and you are going to go to places that you can’t even dream of right now, both in your career and on adventures.
You are going to fall in love, really fall in love, not just with a guy, but also with yourself. Things are going to look up for you soon, Tiffany, but that’s only if you get your shit together and try to figure it out. Nothing worth having comes easy, and if you want to be happy, really be happy, then you have to fight for it.
Don’t rest on your laurels. If you want the awesome life you know you have the potential to have, then you need to go out there and fight for it. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
Find a job or start a career that you truly love. Something that makes it feel like you’re not even working.
Never lose sight of your love for writing. Finish your novel. Continue to blog. Freelance. Submit articles. Journal. Just keep writing.
Think of others. Be selfless. Bring joy into the lives of others, but only those who truly deserve it. Don’t waste your time giving to people who are only going to take advantage of you and not appreciate all of the things you are willing to do for them.
Find yourself. Learn to be by yourself. Do things by yourself. Be happy with yourself. Don’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. You don’t need a guy to be happy. You don’t need to be surrounded by people all the time to be happy. Find happiness within.
You have so much potential at your fingertips, but it’s your job to go and grab it. Remember to love yourself and don’t forget how awesome you are.
You are beautiful.
You are intelligent.
You are kind.
You are giving.
You are incredible.
You are amazing.
You are worth it.
Now go drink a glass of wine, blast “I’m Good” by The Mowgli’s, sing at the top of your lungs and dance your little heart out.
I love you.
I’ve cried multiple times reading this letter, even recently. A few weeks ago, I got an email from FutureMe, and I completely forgot that I had even written myself a letter. When I logged into my account, I found this letter, and I couldn’t believe how much I needed to read this. It’s so easy to find encouraging words all over the place, but the fact that these words were typed by my own fingers made the message stick with me that much more. Even though some specifics of the letter don’t apply anymore, the overall message is still applicable to my life right now.
If you’re feeling discouraged, lost, or upset, I urge you to use FutureMe to write a letter to your future self with hopes and goals of living the beautiful life that you deserve to live. If a letter to your future self isn’t your thing, you can journal or speak with a therapist. My therapist continues to change my life week after week, but at the end of the day, it’s my responsibility to turn our conversations into actionable goals, and it’s your responsibility to turn your life into the amazing one that you deserve.
What’s something you would tell your future self?
