Dating is hard when you’re not in school. In college, it was so easy to meet people because you’re constantly surrounded by people in your classes, extracurriculars, on campus, at parties, etc. Once you graduate, all of your human exposure is found at work, and if there are no prospects at your job, then I don’t know what to tell you.
After my last break-up, I was hesitant to jump back into the dating scene. I’ve always been a people-person, and I love getting to know someone and having that initial meeting turn into a relationship, whether it be romantic or not. I just love meeting people in general. But when it comes to dating, sometimes it can be tough to get back in the game. These are a few things I advise for you to avoid when dating in your 20’s (or just in general, really):
Don’t make out with anyone at a bar (or a party)
This is a something one of my friends told me in college, and the advice has always stuck with me. I never made out with anyone at a bar or at a party before, and it’s definitely advice that I live by and have told a few of my friends before. You never know if a future boyfriend or prospect is looking at you at the bar. If you’re making out with someone, other people will take notice, and they’ll either a) assume you’re easy and get in line or b) assume you’re easy and become uninterested. Either way, neither of those should be the impression you want to make.
Don’t lower your standards
I’ve never been one of those girls that has a checklist of things that my boyfriend has to have or standards they have to meet. It’s more like I have a mental list of deal breakers. I know what I don’t want in a significant other, and if I become interested in someone who possesses some of the qualities on my ‘hell no’ list then they have got to go. Don’t waste your time falling for someone who doesn’t treat you right or doesn’t meet your standards. It’ll just end up hurting you in the long-run.
Don’t be ‘that girl’
By ‘that girl,’ I mean, don’t be that girl that can’t take a hint. Don’t obsessively call or text a guy who doesn’t text you back or makes up excuses as to why he hasn’t gotten back with you. If they’re interested in you, they’ll make time for you. Don’t chase them. It’ll just make you look desperate. I’ve always believed in this philosophy for all of my relationships, whether it be friends, family or romantic: If someone wants to see or talk you, they’ll make it happen; otherwise, don’t waste your time.
Don’t be a bicycle
Bicycle (noun): Everybody gets a ride
Don’t forget about your friends
There’s nothing that makes friendships end faster than people ditching their friends to be with their significant others. I’ve always been bothered by people who completely dump their friends to be with their boyfriend/girlfriend 24/7. No matter who I was dating, I always made time to spend time with my friends because I know I’d go insane if I had to spent 24-hours a day with the same person.
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’
Relationships are about compromise. You shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and vice versa. Don’t make your significant other do anything if they clearly don’t want to, and never say ‘yes’ to anything that you’re uncomfortable with.
Don’t call someone your boyfriend/girlfriend after one date
I know girls who have done this. They go out on one awesome date with a guy, and then all of a sudden, they start calling him ‘boyfriend’ without a conversation. There’s a difference between going on a date, dating someone and being in a relationship. Before you jump the gun and put a title to anything, have a conversation. Even if you think it may be awkward, it would be even more awkward if you introduced him as your boyfriend to someone and he shuts you down.
Don’t become obsessed with finding ‘The One‘
I admit that I do enjoy having a boyfriend that I know I can trust and count on and also be able to drag to concerts, events or other things that no one else wants to go to with me, but forcing a relationship isn’t the answer. I know plenty of people who date other people because they’re there. They’re just serial daters, and they want someone that they can call their own, even if they’re mistreated. That’s unhealthy and a waste of time, especially if you know it won’t work out in the long run. It’s not fair of you to waste their time, but it’s also not smart of you to waste yours. Instead of trying to turn every date into a serious relationship, take time to date different people, figure out what you do and don’t like, and find someone who’s perfect for you. It takes time, but if you have patience, it’ll all work out.
Are you on your journey to find love? It seems like everyone is these days, myself included. Season 3 of MTV’s Are You the One premiered on September 24th. If you haven’t tuned in yet, click here to check out the official trailer or click here to watch the full season premiere episode.
Throughout the season, you can go online and participate in a guessing game alongside the cast by answering questions throughout the show! Are You the One airs on MTV on Wednesdays at 10/9c. Answers to the questions will be revealed later in each of the episodes, and if you guessed the correct answer, you’ll earn points. You’ll also be prompted to share exclusive Are You the One GIFs and memes on social media to rack up even more points. The #1 finisher at the end of each episode (one for the East Coast airing and one of the West Coast airing) will be entered to win a TRIP FOR TWO TO HAWAII! How freaking amazing is that? With only 10 episodes, that’s a 1/20 shot at winning a trip to Hawaii! I think Katniss would agree that the odds are definitely in your favor. For more information about Play #AYTO, click here.
What’s the best dating advice you’ve ever received?
