Hey guys! Molly here. Tiffany, aka mom, made the mistake of leaving her computer signed in, so I snuck in to see what’s she’s been up to. I’ve only been living with mom for a month and a half, but we decided that it wasn’t too early for me to start calling her “mom.” I started off calling her “Tiffany,” but she insisted that that was too casual. I tried out “owner,” but that didn’t go over well. When I started calling her “master,” she let that ride for a little while. She said it made her feel powerful or something. I tested the waters with “mom,” and she was like “That’s it. You can call me nothing else.” Mom leaves me at home for eight hours a day, and I can’t believe this is the first time that I’ve been on here. I’m so embarrassed by all of the pictures she’s been posting of me. If you think that’s obnoxious, get a load of all of these selfies:
|See? There’s so much room left.|
So here’s what you need to know about me:
— I’m the cutest dog that ever was. I only say this because mom tells me that about 100 times a day. I never get tired of hearing it though.
— I hate getting dressed up. Too bad mom hasn’t figured that out yet. I’ve already heard talk about matching Halloween costumes.
— I love sleeping. That’s what I should be doing right now. That’s what I will be doing when I’m done writing this.
— I love to lick things. I don’t know why. Fetish maybe? I just need to know what everything tastes like!