When I first started this blog, I pretty much just wrote about whatever random things were on my mind. My blog actually embodied the “lifestyle” label that I still claim now, but I feel like I’ve really gotten away from that. That’s why I’m so excited about my new series, Wordy Wednesday, where I plan to pick a random topic that’s been on my mind as of late, and I just rant and rave about it. I’ve had so much on my mind lately that I’ve been itching to talk about, and I’m excited to brain dump all of that here. So keep checking back every week for Wordy Wednesday and share your thoughts and opinions in the comments!
Dating was so much easier when in school, or at least finding people to date was easier. You were around people all the time, so if you had a crush on someone, it was easy to sit next to them in class or meet up at lunch or between classes. Now I spend the majority of my waking hours at work, and I can’t think of one person that I work with that I would want to date (which is good because I’ve been down that path before, and it’s so horribly, terribly ugly). If you’re not in school and want to start dating, you have to actively seek someone to go on a date with, which is harder because the pool seems so much smaller because you’re not constantly surrounded by a ton of people all the time. You have to go out and meet people or have your friends set you up on awkward blind dates or try your luck online. It’s the worst. I love meeting people, but I’m always weird when I’m talking to someone that I’m romantically interested in.
Let’s talk about dating apps for a second. When I was younger, I got on this website called Spin the Bottle. I honestly didn’t realize that it was a dating site. I thought it was more like a place for you to make friends and flirt with people online (mind you, this was back in the day when forums were a big thing). I know. I was dumb. Now if you want to meet someone, you don’t even have to create an actual profile. You can just get a dating app, upload a picture or two, write a couple sentences about yourself (or just use a couple of emojis) and call it a day.
My first brush with Tinder went a little something like this: I was with two of my girlfriends in Chicago, and we all got the app. I had just gotten out of a relationship two months prior, my confidence was at an all-time low and I was in the midst of breaking it off with the worst rebound I could have ever chosen. It was definitely a low point. I kid you not, I squealed when I got my first match. I’ve activated and deactivated my Tinder account a number of times over the past few months, but I’ve matched with 60-ish guys and of them, 19 have messaged me, 3 have asked for sexual favors and I’ve gone on 1 date. Dating apps are definitely not for me.
But let’s talk about dating in general. What constitutes an actual date? I think this will forever be confusing to me. I’ve always assumed that if a guy asks a girl to hang out, just the two of them, and he pays, that’s considered a date. The lines are so blurred now. Unless a guy uses the word “date” when asking me, I’m left to analyze the situation after the fact with my friends.
One thing that I’ve learned through dating over the past nine-ish months is that you can’t waste time. I’ve gone on dates with guys that I knew wouldn’t work long-term, and I just kept it going because it was nice to feel wanted. It’s not good to do that though. I’ve learned to start being honest up front, and it’s really refreshing to me when a guy is honest from the get-go. I hate when a date turns into a huge DTR (Define The Relationship) thing because it gets super awkward after that (at least for me), but at the same time, I’d rather know than have things left unsaid. I’ve wasted so much time in pseudo-relationships and flirtationships, but now, I’m better about not tolerating anyone’s BS. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I definitely have a love/hate relationship with dating right now, and I’m grateful that I have an awesome group of friends who I can rant to about the things gone wrong and cheesy smile with about the sweet things gone right. Like I said, I’m not actively looking for a relationship right now, so in the meantime, I’ll just continue to struggle through this awkward dating phase.
What have some of your dating experiences been like?